That's Why We're Here

I remember watching The Best Two Years and there is a line where the rebel missionary finally realizes why he's on his mission and he states "and that's why I'm here...that's why I'm here!". Once in a while that phrase comes to mind when I discover what exactly I'm doing in a place where I'm so confused and lost, and then discover the purpose.

I have had a hard time living away from all the people I know. And living in a place where you have to drive two hours to get to the nearest Old Navy and Texas Roadhouse (though I have learned to have a greater appreciation for such novelties and I have bought things off the internet which is so not me). Many tears have been shed over wondering why exactly we came to such a place. Yes, it is absolutely beautiful but outside of that I have been at a loss as to what my purpose is. Why would we feel like we should live somewhere like this?

Today my boss had a hip replacement. Jesse emailed him asking how everything went (they are so buddy buddy) and he replied, at the end of his email he said "we could not do this without Amber's help".

Today a mother going through an awful divorce called Jesse asking if he would be willing to take her son out for ice cream or to go sledding or whatever they wanted a couple times a month because he needs a good role model in his life and she felt like Jesse would be perfect for him.

Yesterday someone asked me why we moved here and I kind of stammered and said "we just wanted to...um for school?" and my friend turned to me and said "When people ask you that, tell them it's because I needed you. Because I really do believe that's why you're here" and she really meant it.

The thing is that these people all feel like we have come into their lives for a reason for them, but I think they are in their lives for us. I have seen Jesse become this amazing man that I always knew he was but he is just starting to realize exactly what he is capable of. And I have learned so much about myself and the things that I can handle (I have also eaten a pheasant that I saw with feathers the day before I ate it, that in and of itself is miraculous, and I'd do it again).

Though I have had some of the worst days and wondered why the people at the dog park hate me (maybe it's because if a dog takes a disliking toward Sam he all of the sudden decides that is the ONLY dog he wants to play with and will try his damndest to get them to play..that doesn't help my case ever). Anyway, after some sad days and days of wishing we could we win the lottery and go to somewhere that has more than one swimming pool, it is so great to know that there are people here that truly believe their lives are better because we are here. And our life is that much better too.

Now that instagram exists. I have a very hard time blogging because a picture is worth 1,000 words so why try to type all your thoughts out when you can take a picture??

However, I feel the need to update on here anyway.  We are thoroughly enjoying our life in Montana. I remember always saying I would live here one day but I didn't think I was being realistic. We were both able to find jobs and eventually found a great place to live. PS our dog hates living inside. Awesome.

Today my boss (for those of you that don't know I am what is called a PCA...personal care attendant..I take care of a multiply handicap girl) had us over for a barbecue and I saw my very first ever bald eagle. It chose the appropriate date to show itself. I was thrilled about it. We also went and checked out their horses which my boss said he definitely wants to take us on a trail, I'm totally down with that. This is so perfect.

Then tonight we went out with Jesse's boss and his family (they're in our ward-so far the only people to make an attempt at friendship and it is working). We went to a rodeo and at the end they had some pretty stellar fireworks. They're an awesome family.

This is really all I can think of....sometimes I just don't want my blog to die so here is my attempt at some resuscitation. 

Spread the Word

I'm asking a huge favor of all 4 of you that read this.

After much pondering, praying, anxiety attacks, and tears being shed; I have decided that I am taking a different job for a few different reasons and it being a great opportunity.

That being said, I need your help. I need your help finding someone that would be perfect to take this job. I'm not saying that I am so awesome that I'm irreplaceable but......I am saying that sarcasm, being easily amused, and loving diet beverages & peanut butter pretzels will get someone very far in this job.

Let me just state the perks:
*10-4 monday-friday (very flexible..if you want lunch take one, if not..it's whatever). My boss told me I could take a day off if I ever just felt like I needed a day off.
*ice cold fountain beverage waiting on your desk every morning OR when you come in, the request for you to go pick up some ice cold fountain beverages for the office (the three people that work here).
*the work is fun. It does take some getting used to with the terms they use like I don't know why they say 15 basis points instead of just saying 15 cents. But that won't hurt anyone.
*You will never feel like you failed. If you mess up, they will do everything to convince you that it was not your fault. I go home everyday believing that I did a good job.
*I have gotten two phone calls from work while not at work. Call #1 was because my boss was sick all day and freezing so the heat was set at 79. He called me to tell me that as soon as I left he started sweating bullets and had no idea why..then he remembered that he never set the thermostat back to a normal temperature. Call #2 was at 7pm on a Friday night...because my boss forgot to tell me how thankful he was for my hard work that week.

These are just a few reasons why this job is amazing.

If you know anyone that is looking for a job or could use a better job (and could handle a few jokes about girls here and there) please let me know.

Much thanks.

Ruler of the roost.

Our dog rules our home. And he knows. I have never met a dog that is as weird as this one.
Actually, he is a lot like the overly anxious when separated from his owner, incredibly excited to see ANYONE, and wants to sit on your lap, dog that my family used to have.
Only he is in an inappropriately strong-for-his-size body that is only going to continue growing, it's not his size I'm weary of, it's his strength...and his lack of any idea of the power he has behind those paws when he tackles people to the ground so that he can lick their face and eat their hair.

He is the second most obedient dog I have ever had (and there have been quite a few) but for some reason the words "Get down" or "don't jump" mean nothing to him.

He is one strange pup.

His favorite toys in the world? paper and blankets.
While on a walk will he randomly stop and jump up, all fours in the air, just because? yes.
Favorite noise? The printer. He is fascinated by it and does the head tilt like I have never seen before when thing starts going. He thinks the paper is for him when it comes out. He heard it going yesterday and he ran over and sat and waited for the paper to be completely done printing, then he stole it and ran. Seriously. What the?
His favorite object? The vacuum. He thinks it's a lion.

And his only way to sleep? After he demands the fire be on....he lays like this. Every time.

He will do great things.

Place of Work

I totally thought I dropped out of this photo thing but I love my place of work so I have to talk about it for a minute.

This is my view. It's really nice, I get to see everyone that goes to the bathroom and everyone stares in here, some wave..some avoid eye contact. Some read the Vertex sign just to avoid eye contact. Like every time they go potty they have to re-read the sign to make sure it still says the same thing. This one time I was walking out of the office and a girl coming out of the bathroom said "wow, it's really nice to see your whole body for a change!". I took that as a mega compliment.

I love this job. I can't even begin to explain how great of a job it is. I get thanked everyday. Every single day I hear "thanks Amber" or "we really appreciate you". And it's for things that seem so minor but they actually sincerely appreciate what I do. I look forward to going to work everyday. I don't know very many people that can say that and that can leave work knowing that whatever they did wrong that day will be completely forgotten the next morning they go in. To be honest, when I do something wrong or mess something up I have not once been afraid to admit it because I know that they are going brush it off and forgive me. I honestly just love this place.

It's a crazy good job. I could go on all day.

Something blue

Day 13: something blue

I feel way weird that I took a picture of my toothbrush.
I noticed I don't have a lot of blue in my life and I actually hate that this toothbrush is not green. My toothbrush is always green so it feels wrong every time I use it.
(And ok, I really have an electric toothbrush that is green but I have to use this blue one regularly because you can't use the electric one A. in the shower and B. while you are running around getting ready for the day. Ya know?)

Closet

Day 12: Inside your closet

Trust me, it wasn't this clean 20 minutes ago.

Makes me happy.

I may be skipping ahead due to forgetfulness and busy days. Which is fine because there was no sunshine on the day of the sun. My door is a wreathless, rugless, white rectangle. And well....the self portrait I mean...it's whatever.

Day 11: Something that makes me happy

I have about a million things in the world that make me happy. I wish I had a picture of today, it was one of those filled with happy type of days. Or a picture of Luke at the moment where he completely randomly stopped and said "I just really love you" for no reason in the world.

But I have to admit my daily happiness comes from every time I walk through the front door and I'm greeted by one of these two (one of them tends to be able to contain their excitement a little better than the other), even if I feel like the world is not on my team I always know there is a man and his dog that are. And it makes me so very happy.

Button

Day 7: Button

This is the last remaining button on one of my favorite pairs of jeans. They really are so cute and fit perfect. I lost one of the back pocket buttons shortly after I purchased them (forever 21 for $18...can't ask for much) and it always bothered me but I still wore them. Then about three weeks ago I went to the bathroom..of course I was at work, and the front button popped right off. That was awesome. Basically the pants are dead now.

Dinner!

Day 6: Dinner

Pepper stuffed with ground beef, chopped onions & carrots,
and the key to making it extra tasty?
jalapenos and chili sauce.

Add some cheese and a dollop of daisy on top.

Then some steak fries on the side and a tall glass of ice cold lemon-lime lemonade
and you are good to go.

A Stranger and non existent 10am

I'm falling behind, I apologize.

Day 4: a picture of a stranger.

This is a bad picture of a stranger but I was at Target about a week ago and I realized the lady's shirt was definitely not red enough. It was actually just purple. So I snap that shot and prepare to post then comment, when I realize the photo brought out all the red in the shirt so really it was a waste.

Day 5: 10am

I was excited when I realized the 10am photo was on a weekend because weekdays at 10 are when work starts so I knew I would forget to take a picture of that.
But instead, I slept right past 10am on the day it should have happened.
So sorry. Also sorry that this font is stuck on italics and won't change back to normal..

Hands

My ugly hand.

I have always hated my hands and thought that my fingers were so fat. I also hate how dry they are all the time. And if it is cold, they are purple. If it is warm, they are bright red. When they go from cold to hot really quickly, they are even redder. The temperature must remain 74 degrees. Painting my nails only enhances whatever color my hands are turning when the temperature shifts.
My hands are one of my least favorite body parts.
But they still remain my dogs favorite chew toy.

My view and words

I got this from Rachel. I always wanted to do a photo-a-day thing on here but I never found one that had photo ideas that I wanted to use but this one is great!


Here's to Feb. 1: My view today (ok yesterday...whatever)

Last night Jesse and I went to the Jazz game. It was cute because our first date was to the Jazz game with VIP tickets..exactly a year ago and this was the exact same date. But really he just got the tickets both times from work and just so happens that he took me along both times.


Here's to Feb. 2! Words

I feel this way, everyday.

When in doubt

Go to lds.org and find yourself a conference talk.
Every time, without fail, there is a talk to read that screams at me.

I live in a lot of fear of the future and I always have. I am rarely optimistic and expect that things won't work out so I hardly ever try. I slowly began to change my attitude about a year and a half ago and that was when things finally started to happen. Go figure.

But often I find myself full of doubt and worrying that our future is going to crumble. For no reason other than I don't know exactly how it is going to pan out or when every detail is going to come in to play. I feel like we have a plan but we are still totally wingin' it. I guess that's how life is though. Thankfully I have a husband that thinks entirely opposite as I do. When he decides he is doing something, he does it, and it just works. It's an odd concept.

A few nights ago I did my typical inner freak out of the future and I opened up my Gospel Library and immediately found this talk. It was written especially for me, right now. It was exactly what I was looking for.

"As important as it is to learn Heavenly Father’s plan for our lives, we sometimes get so caught up in knowing every detail, start to finish, that we become afraid to act. Don’t fall into this trap. Make good choices using your best judgment and move forward with your life. We’re blessed as we make choices. Don’t be afraid to make choices because you are afraid of making mistakes. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
In doing so, you will find joy in the journey."

I especially needed that paragraph. It is truer than true.

One thing that happens when you get engaged is you hear the comments about how hard the first year will be. People always say "learning to live with someone else is hard", "we were so broke we went on a date once a month and ordered off the dollar menu", or "we fought over everything".

To be honest with you, those things aren't struggles for us. We got married and as far as all the above goes, we are good. But what I wish people would warn you about is that once you get married...the two of you are now alone.

When you are single you can tell about your dating escapades to anyone and they will appreciate it, your fellow single friends will laugh because they know or your married friends will laugh because they have been there. But all of the sudden as soon as you tie that knot, the single friends assume you are done with needing them, they don't want to hear about your successful relatioinship, and the married ones start spouting off how everything will change either for the better or for the worse and with that you are treated with an attitude of you don't really know what it's like.

You can always find a blog or a talk about parenting and everywhere you look you will find someone that has a kid the same age as yours and totally gets what you are going through. It's a lot harder to find someone that is like "oh my gosh we are saving up for a king size bed too!" And if you read a blog about newlyweds people would probably gag all over and be like "no one cares that you made lasagna together" (trust me, I have a million pictures of food that will never be shared to the world)

Honestly it's awesome knowing that at the end of everyday you do have someone to talk to. You have one person that is on your side and supporting you and that is always thinking about your well being above theirs. But just because you found love in one person doesn't mean you don't still need it from others.

Happy birthday, bro

Today is this fabulous man's birthday.


Thanks for the craziest and best year of my life thus far. You are the absolute greatest man I ever could have asked for. Thank you for constantly being so entertaining and for your optimism in life, I don't understand it but I do appreciate it. I love everything you do and how you are always putting me and everyone else before you. I even sometimes like it when you call me bro or "a stud" on accident. I could go on and on and on about EVERYTHING I just love.
You may never know how much you mean to me. Thank you for being so awesome to me and supplying with me with an unlimited amount of love, all the time. You are so rad.

Need I say more?