I remember watching The Best Two Years and there is a line where the rebel missionary finally realizes why he's on his mission and he states "and that's why I'm here...that's why I'm here!". Once in a while that phrase comes to mind when I discover what exactly I'm doing in a place where I'm so confused and lost, and then discover the purpose.
I have had a hard time living away from all the people I know. And living in a place where you have to drive two hours to get to the nearest Old Navy and Texas Roadhouse (though I have learned to have a greater appreciation for such novelties and I have bought things off the internet which is so not me). Many tears have been shed over wondering why exactly we came to such a place. Yes, it is absolutely beautiful but outside of that I have been at a loss as to what my purpose is. Why would we feel like we should live somewhere like this?
Today my boss had a hip replacement. Jesse emailed him asking how everything went (they are so buddy buddy) and he replied, at the end of his email he said "we could not do this without Amber's help".
Today a mother going through an awful divorce called Jesse asking if he would be willing to take her son out for ice cream or to go sledding or whatever they wanted a couple times a month because he needs a good role model in his life and she felt like Jesse would be perfect for him.
Yesterday someone asked me why we moved here and I kind of stammered and said "we just wanted to...um for school?" and my friend turned to me and said "When people ask you that, tell them it's because I needed you. Because I really do believe that's why you're here" and she really meant it.
The thing is that these people all feel like we have come into their lives for a reason for them, but I think they are in their lives for us. I have seen Jesse become this amazing man that I always knew he was but he is just starting to realize exactly what he is capable of. And I have learned so much about myself and the things that I can handle (I have also eaten a pheasant that I saw with feathers the day before I ate it, that in and of itself is miraculous, and I'd do it again).
Though I have had some of the worst days and wondered why the people at the dog park hate me (maybe it's because if a dog takes a disliking toward Sam he all of the sudden decides that is the ONLY dog he wants to play with and will try his damndest to get them to play..that doesn't help my case ever). Anyway, after some sad days and days of wishing we could we win the lottery and go to somewhere that has more than one swimming pool, it is so great to know that there are people here that truly believe their lives are better because we are here. And our life is that much better too.