When in doubt

Go to lds.org and find yourself a conference talk.
Every time, without fail, there is a talk to read that screams at me.

I live in a lot of fear of the future and I always have. I am rarely optimistic and expect that things won't work out so I hardly ever try. I slowly began to change my attitude about a year and a half ago and that was when things finally started to happen. Go figure.

But often I find myself full of doubt and worrying that our future is going to crumble. For no reason other than I don't know exactly how it is going to pan out or when every detail is going to come in to play. I feel like we have a plan but we are still totally wingin' it. I guess that's how life is though. Thankfully I have a husband that thinks entirely opposite as I do. When he decides he is doing something, he does it, and it just works. It's an odd concept.

A few nights ago I did my typical inner freak out of the future and I opened up my Gospel Library and immediately found this talk. It was written especially for me, right now. It was exactly what I was looking for.

"As important as it is to learn Heavenly Father’s plan for our lives, we sometimes get so caught up in knowing every detail, start to finish, that we become afraid to act. Don’t fall into this trap. Make good choices using your best judgment and move forward with your life. We’re blessed as we make choices. Don’t be afraid to make choices because you are afraid of making mistakes. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
In doing so, you will find joy in the journey."

I especially needed that paragraph. It is truer than true.

One thing that happens when you get engaged is you hear the comments about how hard the first year will be. People always say "learning to live with someone else is hard", "we were so broke we went on a date once a month and ordered off the dollar menu", or "we fought over everything".

To be honest with you, those things aren't struggles for us. We got married and as far as all the above goes, we are good. But what I wish people would warn you about is that once you get married...the two of you are now alone.

When you are single you can tell about your dating escapades to anyone and they will appreciate it, your fellow single friends will laugh because they know or your married friends will laugh because they have been there. But all of the sudden as soon as you tie that knot, the single friends assume you are done with needing them, they don't want to hear about your successful relatioinship, and the married ones start spouting off how everything will change either for the better or for the worse and with that you are treated with an attitude of you don't really know what it's like.

You can always find a blog or a talk about parenting and everywhere you look you will find someone that has a kid the same age as yours and totally gets what you are going through. It's a lot harder to find someone that is like "oh my gosh we are saving up for a king size bed too!" And if you read a blog about newlyweds people would probably gag all over and be like "no one cares that you made lasagna together" (trust me, I have a million pictures of food that will never be shared to the world)

Honestly it's awesome knowing that at the end of everyday you do have someone to talk to. You have one person that is on your side and supporting you and that is always thinking about your well being above theirs. But just because you found love in one person doesn't mean you don't still need it from others.

Happy birthday, bro

Today is this fabulous man's birthday.


Thanks for the craziest and best year of my life thus far. You are the absolute greatest man I ever could have asked for. Thank you for constantly being so entertaining and for your optimism in life, I don't understand it but I do appreciate it. I love everything you do and how you are always putting me and everyone else before you. I even sometimes like it when you call me bro or "a stud" on accident. I could go on and on and on about EVERYTHING I just love.
You may never know how much you mean to me. Thank you for being so awesome to me and supplying with me with an unlimited amount of love, all the time. You are so rad.

Need I say more?